This article continues my series on the book The Emotionally Healthy Church as it relates to my church experience at New Life Church Kelowna. (For previous articles see I, II). In Chapter Two Peter Scazzero discovers something desperately wrong in the way churches conduct themselves emotionally.  

It has to do with consistency. Specifically, consistency between espoused values and values in practice. He begins his chapter retelling the plot of the movie The Apostle, It was written and directed by Robert Duvall who also plays the main character, Sonny.

"Sonny, like most of us, is a complex individual. He is zealous, committed Christian whom we admire, and yet he is also terribly inconsistent. Most painful, perhaps, is his lack of awareness of the harm that will come from appearing to be more than he really is. In some ways he is an imposter. He easily compartmentalizes his faith and spirituality from the totality of his humanity. Most of us in Christian leadership and in the church can relate to more about him than we like to admit." (p. 39)

Scazzero then recounts story after story of real life Christian leaders who have lived inconsistent Christian lives, beginning with Bob Pierce (see CT article here), the founder of World Vision, who saw great things in his ministry overseas but ended up alienated from his family.

The number one issue that erodes trust in leadership is inconsistency. Scazzero believes that this inconsistency results from a faulty model of Christian discipleship that neglects to form the emotional aspect of spiritual maturity for church leaders. That is, leaders are unable to connect with their emotional side and be transparent about those emotions in a healthy manner.

After writing the recent articles I received an e mail from a person who has been attending New Life and is stuck in the emotional pain surrounding the things we have been going through as a church. The person asks "How can I trust when their (leaders) words and actions are so different?"

This is the central question of Peter Scazzero's book. It is about establishing trust in relationships. Whether or not it is true that leaders actions and words are different, there is often a perception in those who follow leaders that there is an inconsistency between espoused values and values in practice. Bringing actions and words into alignment both in reality and in the perception of church members is a very important responsibility of leadership. It is a responsibility that requires an emotionally healthy response because it may require leaders to admit that some actions were not in line with the core values of the church and it is through admitting those errors and being humble about them that trust can be re-established and strengthened. 

In another email that I received from one of the leaders at New Life I was asked, "Mike, don't you trust leadership?" My answer is that I trust the heart of my leaders that they sincerely desire to do what is right. That is part of the covenantal  care I have committed to at New Life.  However, no leaders are perfect, even those who guide New Life! So while I trust the heart of leadership, I do not trust that they are infallible.

For trust to grow in me and in those who were wounded by leaderships actions, there needs to be an emotionally healthy response by leadership to the concerns and questions that have been raised and that remain outstanding, otherwise trust in leadership will erode.

(UPDATED, Friday, January 5th, 2007.

I deleted four paragraphs of "backseat driving" comments. See my apology here.)

By the way Scazzero has a website for resources on being an Emotionally Healthy Church. You can read chapter one of his book here. You can take a measure of your emotional health by answering these questions here.