A friend who used to attend my church recently asked me "Why do you stay there?   There’s a lot of sizzle at that church, but where is the beef?" Then he gave me a teaching CD from his new church as if to say -- here is some substance.

The decision to stay or to go is deeper than indulging one's preference for more beef and less sizzle. Sure, my church has weaknesses. Yes, the teaching could be better, but then so could every other church's teaching be better. Certainly, there is a need for change. Improvement opportunities abound at New Life Church Kelowna.

From the perspective of consumer Christianity, church is a dispenser of religious goods and services. Some churches provide better value for your tithing dollars. Others find it difficult to compete. Consumer Christians make church membership conditional on the product offered.

Covenantal Christianity sees the church as a community more than a spiritual consumers club. This is because in the gospel, God cares for us covenantally not conditionally, therefore, we must care for one another covenantally, not conditionally. (Matthew 18:21-22)

Once we have made the commitment to be a member of a church family, we are not at liberty to keep the door ajar or to take a wait and see attitude with respect to our church family. As long as New Life Church Kelowna subscribes to the basic creeds of the Christian faith, I am called as a member to care for them covenantally.

This is the hard made decision: to let go of the pain of disappointed expectations, to be patient with the failings of leadership, to endure the differences in ministry style, to put up with the irritating idiosyncrasies, to bear with one another in love, to forgive the offense that has upset me,  and to move from a position of conditionality to a place of trust. Trust in God who will provide the grace to cover me when I risk loving othersunconditionally.

Besides this basic reason, here are more reasons why I stay:

Ø     Staying Because of Perspective. The problems at my local church  are reflective of wider problems that are occurring throughout the North American church. A huge cultural shift is occurring in our society that affects the local church. Reggie McNeal, author of The Present Future: Six Tough Questions for the Church, states "current church culture in North America is on life support." George Barna in his book Revolution calls for a complete transformation in where church happens. (See my reviews here) Brian McLaren, author of Church on the Other Side, states it is time to migrate to a new way to do Christianity. All these authors have one thing in common. They see that the local church in North America is in serious trouble. Unless it transitions, it will die.  I stay because I believe New Life can make that transition and I want to help them do that.

Ø     Staying Because There is Substance. At New Life, there is substance beneath the sizzle. Our church has a rich history with God. We have made a difference in our community, in the nation and around the world. There is a present vitality in our worship and community. I stay because I know God has used New Life to make a difference in the lives of many people both in Kelowna and abroad. He will do it again. 

Ø     Staying Because New Life is My Tribe. In 1988 I wrote these words in my journal concerning my arrival at New Life. "I had found my tribe!" Although one may reject one's family, one cannot lose the family resemblance. New Life Church has shaped who I am and I believe will continue to do so. I embrace that no matter how difficult it is to live in a dysfunctional family, Jesus said, "Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." New Lifer's are my friends. Friendship demands I stay.

Ø     Staying Because I have Hope the Church can be Different. In 2000, our church launched a revolution in the way we minister. We went from a governance structure that concentrated knowledge and power in a small clique at the top of the church hierarchy, to a governance structure that distributed knowledge and power more evenly among ministry leaders. In the New Beginnings approach, everyone could hear from God, not just the 'anointed few'. Everyone had an apostolic role to play since to be a Christian is to be a "sent one". Everyone's contribution was valued as we moved forward together. Part of the reason why we are experiencing turbulence is that we are following the path we set out in 2000. I stay because I believe this is the right path and I have hope that we will reap a good harvest if we stick to it.  

Ø     Staying Says We Are Saved Together. Despite what our consumer culture tells us, Christians do not exist as autonomous decision-making individuals. We are who we are because of the relationships within which we exist. No person is an island unto themselves. If God is the one who "sets us in families" then who am I to decide that since my present church family may be somewhat dysfunctional then I should go and find a new family? I stay because I am called to be pulled through God's keyhole together with the rest of my New Life family. I am saved together with them not apart from them. This is how God forms us for his purposes.  Consider this thought on salvation from Leslie Newbigin,

The Bible does not speak about "humanity" but about "all families of the earth" or "all the nations." It follows that this mutual relatedness, this dependence of one on another, is not merely part of the journey toward the goal of salvation, but is intrinsic to the goal itself. For knowing God, for being in communion with him, we are dependent on the one whom he gives as to be the bearer of this relation, not just as a teacher and guide on the way but as the partner in the end. There is, there can be, no private salvation, no salvation which does not involve us with one another.  Therefore, if I may venture to use a metaphor which I have used elsewhere, God's saving revelation of himself does not come to us straight down from above-through the skylight, as we might say. In order to receive God's saving revelation we have to open the door to the neighbor whom he sends as his appointed messenger, and -moreover-to receive that messenger not as a temporary teacher or guide whom we can dispense with when we ourselves have learned what is needed, but as one who will permanently share our home. There is no salvation except one in which we are saved together through the one whom God sends to be the bearer of his salvation.[1]

Ø     Staying is an Act of Spiritual Warfare.  In January, 2002, my wife and I attended a  Set Free Healing Gate Seminar at New Life.  It was held in the Creator's Dance studio. A member of our church was at the microphone repenting of being critical of church Leadership. At that very moment, a high pitched noise like laughter came from the ceiling in the north west corner of the room. All thirty class members heard the sound. It was captured on an audio tape, which I subsequently heard. The seminar leader stepped to the microphone and rebuked the demonic presence. The demonic had been exposed and vanquished by that word of testimony. Satan's goal is to divide us. He wins when we do not care for one another covenantally. My staying at New Life sends a message to the Spiritual Powers that Jesus is my Lord and they are not!

Ø     Staying Serves The Church Catholic. As Thomas Oden states in his book, Turning Around the Mainline: How Renewal Movements Are Changing the Church, it does not serve the church catholic (that is the wider church in one's community) to leave one's local church to attend elsewhere. The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but when you get there you find it is not as green as you thought. You basically start over in your new community and you have to go through all the effort of developing trusting relationships. You have to earn the right for a voice by 'taking out the trash' and serving in various capacities. At my church now people know me by name. I have significant life capital invested there and vice versa. New Life depends in part upon the capital it has invested in me. It is capital that earns spiritual dividends. Should tragedy strike myself or my family there are people who know me, who will care for me. I will not face it alone. My church family will face it with me. Should New Life encounter difficulty, it reaps the loyalty and friendship it has shown to me, because I will step up to help. A strong New Life Church strengthens the church catholic in Kelowna. I stay because I will reap spiritual dividends, not only for my family but also for New Life and for the wider church in Kelowna.